Instructions:
Write down the answers.
1. How do you react when your partner disagrees with you?
A) I shut down and avoid the conversation, it’s too uncomfortable.
B) I listen to their perspective and try to find common ground.
C) I defend my point passionately and may raise my voice.
2. What’s your first step when a misunderstanding arises?
A) I ignore it and hope it resolves itself over time.
B) I bring it up calmly and ask for clarification.
C) I confront them immediately and demand an explanation.
3. How do you feel when your partner brings up an issue about you?
A) Defensive. I feel like they’re criticizing me.
B) Open. I appreciate their honesty and want to improve.
C) Annoyed. I think they’re overreacting or being unfair.
4. What’s your go-to strategy during a heated argument?
A) I withdraw emotionally and need time to cool off.
B) I focus on staying calm and finding solutions together.
C) I express my emotions strongly and may say things I regret.
5. How do you handle unresolved conflicts?
A) I let it go and pretend everything’s fine, even if it’s not.
B) I revisit the issue later when emotions have settled.
C) I hold onto resentment and bring it up in future arguments.
6. What’s your attitude toward apologizing after a disagreement?
A) I avoid apologizing, it feels like admitting fault.
B) I apologize sincerely if I realize I was wrong.
C) I apologize reluctantly but still feel justified in my stance.
7. How do you react when your partner needs space during a conflict?
A) I feel rejected and push them to talk it out immediately.
B) I respect their need for space and give them time.
C) I take it personally and assume they’re giving up on the relationship.
8. What’s your response when a partner raises their voice during an argument?
A) I shut down and stop communicating altogether.
B) I stay calm and ask them to lower their tone.
C) I raise my voice back, it escalates quickly.
9. How do you feel about discussing past conflicts?
A) I avoid revisiting them, it’s too painful or awkward.
B) I see it as an opportunity to learn and grow together.
C) I bring them up often to prove my point in current arguments.
10. What’s your biggest fear during a conflict in dating?
A) Being abandoned or rejected by my partner.
B) Hurting their feelings or damaging the relationship.
C) Losing control or saying something I can’t take back.
Scoring System:
A = Avoider (Tends to Evade Conflict)
B = Communicator (Addresses Conflict Thoughtfully)
C = Escalator (Tends to Intensify Conflict)
Tally up the number of times each letter appears in your responses.
Avoider
You tend to avoid conflict, often prioritizing peace over addressing issues directly. While this helps maintain harmony in the short term, unresolved problems can build up over time. Practice speaking up gently and setting boundaries to ensure your needs are met.
Communicator
You’re a communicator, you address conflicts thoughtfully and work toward resolutions that benefit both partners. Your balanced approach fosters trust and understanding in your relationships. Keep nurturing this mindset by continuing to prioritize empathy and open dialogue.
Escalator
You tend to escalate conflicts, which can lead to intense emotions and hurtful exchanges. While your passion shows you care deeply, learning to manage your reactions and approach disagreements calmly can help you resolve issues more effectively. Focus on active listening and taking breaks when needed.
