Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, and Other Dating Terms Explained
Dating can feel like navigating a minefield of confusing behaviors and mixed signals. With the rise of online dating and digital communication, new terms have emerged to describe the often frustrating and sometimes hurtful ways people interact in the dating world.
Whether you’re new to dating or just trying to make sense of it all, this guide will help you decode the modern dating scene.
Ghosting: The Silent Disappearance
Ghosting is one of the most well known and frustrating dating behaviors. It occurs when someone you’ve been dating or talking to suddenly cuts off all communication without explanation. One day, they’re texting you regularly, and the next, they’ve vanished into thin air, no responses, no closure, just silence.
Why It Happens: Ghosting often stems from a lack of communication skills or a desire to avoid confrontation. Some people ghost because they’re not interested but don’t know how to say it, while others do it to avoid dealing with their own emotions.
How to Handle It: If you’ve been ghosted, it’s important to remember that it’s not about you, it’s about the other person’s inability to communicate. While it’s natural to feel hurt or confused, try to focus on moving forward. Surround yourself with supportive friends, engage in activities you enjoy, and remind yourself that you deserve someone who values you enough to be honest.
Breadcrumbing: Leading You On
Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you interested but never fully commits. They might send occasional texts, like your social media posts, or make vague plans that never materialize. It’s like they’re leaving a trail of breadcrumbs to keep you hooked without any intention of following through.
Why It Happens: Breadcrumbers often enjoy the attention and validation they get from keeping someone on the back burner. They may not be ready for a serious relationship but still want to keep their options open.
How to Handle It: If you suspect you’re being breadcrumbed, it’s important to set boundaries. Don’t settle for sporadic attention—you deserve someone who is fully present and invested in you. Communicate your needs clearly, and if they’re unwilling to meet them, it may be time to move on.
Benching: Keeping You on the Sidelines
Benching is similar to breadcrumbing but with a slightly different twist. When someone benches you, they keep you as a backup option while they explore other relationships. They might check in occasionally to see if you’re still interested, but they’re not making any real effort to move things forward.
Why It Happens: Benching often occurs when someone is unsure about what they want or is trying to keep their options open. They may enjoy your company but aren’t ready to commit.
How to Handle It: If you feel like you’re being benched, it’s important to recognize your worth. Don’t settle for being someone’s second choice. Have an honest conversation about where you stand, and if they’re not willing to commit, it’s time to focus on someone who values you.
Love Bombing: Overwhelming You with Affection
Love bombing is when someone showers you with excessive attention, affection, and grand gestures early in the relationship. They might declare their love quickly, buy you expensive gifts, or constantly praise you. While it can feel flattering at first, love bombing is often a red flag for manipulative behavior.
Why It Happens: Love bombers often use this tactic to gain control or create a sense of dependency. They may be trying to win you over quickly to mask their true intentions or insecurities.
How to Handle It: If you suspect you’re being love bombed, take a step back and evaluate the relationship. Pay attention to whether their actions align with their words and whether they respect your boundaries. Healthy relationships develop gradually, so be cautious of anyone who tries to rush things.
Zombieing: Coming Back from the Dead
Zombieing is when someone who ghosted you suddenly reappears in your life, often with no explanation for their disappearance. They might text you out of the blue, acting as if nothing happened, and try to rekindle the connection.
Why It Happens: Zombieing often occurs when someone realizes they made a mistake or when their other options didn’t work out. They may be looking for attention or validation.
How to Handle It: If a zombie reappears, think carefully about whether you want to re engage. Consider why they disappeared in the first place and whether they’ve shown genuine remorse or growth. If you decide to give them another chance, set clear boundaries and communicate your expectations.
Cushioning: Keeping a Safety Net
Cushioning is when someone keeps other potential partners on the sidelines while they’re in a relationship. They might flirt with others, stay in touch with exes, or keep dating apps active as a safety net in case things don’t work out.
Why It Happens: Cushioning often stems from insecurity or a fear of commitment. The person may be unsure about their current relationship and want to keep their options open.
How to Handle It: If you suspect your partner is cushioning, have an honest conversation about your concerns. Trust is essential in a relationship, and if they’re not willing to be fully committed, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
Modern dating can be complicated, but understanding these terms can help you recognize unhealthy behaviors and protect your emotional well-being.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve, and don’t be afraid to walk away from situations that don’t serve you. After all, the right person will value you enough to treat you with the respect and care you deserve.
